The best gift you can give your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend

Oh hey there!  As per usual, I need to provide a disclaimer before continuing with this week's blog post: I AM NOT A RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLOR AND HAVE NO AUTHORITY OR TRAINING IN THIS DEPARTMENT WHATSOEVER.  Now that that's out of the way...

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The past few months have challenged the relationship I have with my husband immensely.  He has gone back to school this past year and is spending all his free time sitting at our dining room table studying.  On weekends, he travels up north to his old job and puts in two 13 hour workdays before driving home and collapsing in bed only a few hours before his alarm goes off on Monday morning and he goes back to school.  Now just in case my point in the previous sentence has not come across clearly: HE IS CRAZY BUSY.  On top of that, he is stubborn and claims that his dedication to work and school is for the betterment of our wee family.  Fair point but, I disagree with this because he is spreading himself way too thin, developing unhealthy habits, and driving himself down a road that inevitably leads to breakdown.  We have argued and argued over this and both stubbornly refuse to compromise.  

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Last week I was looking through my library for inspiration for my classes when a book fell off the shelf and landed on the floor. The irony is that my hubby's mom actually lent me this book a while back (and I never returned it...eek...karma fail).  Find the book on Amazon here.

After reading the book for a little while, I came across this passage:

The most precious gift you can make to your loved one is not money, power, or fame, but your true presence. To love means to be present for him. How can you love if you are not there? And the quality of your presence is very important. You have to be there, fresh, loving, understanding. Through the practice of mindful breathing and mindful walking, you bring your mind back to your body, you establish yourself in the here and now, you are fully present, and you can go to your loved one and say the first declaration of love, ‘Darling, you know, I am really here for you.’
— Thich Nhat Hanh

Boom.  Life changed.  Arguments over. Time with each other cherished rather than wasted.  Buddhist monks rock my socks.

The camera shy love of my life.

The camera shy love of my life.

You don’t need to bring anything else; you just offer your presence, thanks to the understanding and compassion generated by your practice, can be fresh, nourishing, and healing to her.
— Thich Nhat Hanh

Pretty sure my mother in law knew I would need this book!  Now I need to buy her another copy because I think I am going to read this book over and over again...

rock on,  l.e. martini